


what if i asked you to stay?

by obstructivemind



Series: songfics [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Books, Dnf if you squint, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, No Smut, Songfic, beauty and the beast vibes with less beast, karl has amnesia, karl is pretty, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29451363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obstructivemind/pseuds/obstructivemind
Summary: And when we sleep at nightI hope that we write novels in our headsOf what to tell the other when we wakeAnd when morning comes before we're doneWith volumes left to chooseorWhere Karl falls in love with the boy from the library.(based on Novels by Rusty Clanton)
Relationships: Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Series: songfics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152326
Comments: 18
Kudos: 91





	1. someday i won’t have to wait for you

**Author's Note:**

> mmm this is my first ongoing that i’m writing! i’m trying to get better so hopefully i’ll update frequently:] 
> 
> if any ccs involved state that they’re uncomfortable with ff this will be taken down!  
> enjoy :]

When Karl first saw Nick, he was perplexed.

What was a boy like him doing in the library, perched in the corner with a book rested on his lap? 

His skin was slightly tanned, Karl would call it _sunkissed_. His hair was a brownish-black colour and it was long enough that it was swept over his eyes that were a dark green. He wore a varsity jacket with a small number 7 sewn onto the front of it. Karl would also call him beautiful.

If he didn’t know any better, he would assume the boy was lost. However, he decided not to pry, considering he didn’t know him, so instead he took a seat across from him and pulled out his book, immediately getting lost in the words.

The library was like a home to Karl. To any other, it was simply a rotting building in the countryside, but to the boy it felt like he was entering a foreign land every time he entered despite going every other day.It sat on the outskirts of his town, away from all of the ruckus and drama that settled inside of the community. It was a two story building, the top floor rarely used (unless there was a book that Karl himself wanted up there). 

Nobody really entered the library in town except old people and teenagers looking for a place to meet their significant others without their parents knowing. This meant that the building was usually empty.

A moment passed, the comforting atmosphere of the library surrounding them. The smell of books was overwhelming, but nobody that ever entered the rotting building really seemed to mind. It was something you got used to after awhile. It was also always deafeningly silent.

Until it wasn’t.

“John Green, huh?” 

Karl’s sky eyes peered up from the words in front of him, and they met the green ones that he had previously been infatuated by. 

“Yeah.. The Fault In Our Stars..” Karl replied, glancing down at the blue front cover of his book, a hot flush appearing on his cheeks. 

“A classic,” The boy said simply, his gaze returning back to his book without another word.

Karl’s eyebrows furrowed. He shrugged it off slightly, going back to the story he’d read hundreds of times.

“The ending is sad though-” The voice piped up again.

“Don’t spoil!” Karl said quickly, which earned him a ‘shh’ from the librarian across the room. He apologised quickly, hanging his head low to keep the attention off of him due to the embarrassment.

“You’ve never read The Fault In Our Stars?” He questioned, “It’s really good-“

“I have.. I just can’t remember the ending,” Karl interrupted softly, glancing up at the figure in front of him. 

There was a moment of silence. “What’s your name?” The dark-haired male asked, his tone gentle which was somewhat of a contrast to his looks.

“Karl, yours?”

“Nick. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Karl.”

Karl blushed. 

Nick was attractive, well-read, charming and good at conversations. So what did Karl do? 

He left the library. 

  
  


-

  
  


“No, George, he was beautiful,” Karl groaned, burying his face into his hands. George raised an eyebrow, continuing to paint his nails whilst his best friend continued to rant.

“Are you _sure_ you don’t know a Nick?” Karl said, his eyes full of desperation.

“Tell me what he looks like again,” George sighed, obviously done with his friend’s whining and complaining.

“He had green eyes, like.. a forest green almost, brownish-black hair and stubble,” Karl explained, searching the depths of his brain to try and remember anything he could about Nick.

“You do realize there’s probably hundreds of white men with brown hair called Nick around here, right? He won’t exactly stand out-“

Karl whined.

The odds of him finding Nick were slim to none, and the fact that his head was clouded with amnesia just made matters worse.

“Why did you run out, anyway? You said he’s cute,” George asked, blowing on his bright pink nails. 

“I-” Karl began, a sigh falling from his lips, “You know how I am with new people, George.”

“You can’t be afraid of losing people, Karl. I’m sure this boy would understand that you struggle to remember things.”

“But what if he doesn’t, George? I can’t take another Alex situation. I get attached to people and then I forget. That’s why you’re my only friend.”

George sighed. Karl knew he was thinking about that day that he wrote down for him.

  
  


_“Will he be okay, Doctor?” George asked, the blinding lights of the hospital ward making his head throb._

_“Yes, he’ll be okay.. somewhat,” The tall doctor replied, clutching his clipboard._

_“Somewhat?” George asked, fiddling with the ends of his sleeves anxiously._

_“Due to his head injuries, Karl will most likely suffer with amnesia. We’re unsure on how long he’ll suffer with it, but it’ll be long-term for sure. He’ll only be able to remember things that happened way before his accident after this. Those are the things and people he’ll never forget.”_

_George gulped._

  
  


“It’s okay to be weary, Karl, but going your whole life avoiding people just because they might not understand is ridiculous,” George eventually commented, making eye-contact with Karl. Karl hated eye-contact.

Karl pulled out his notebook from his book bag and grabbed a pen from George’s desk. 

“Let me write it, that way you’ll remember that it’s important,” George said, taking the notebook from Karl’s cold hands.

George flipped to a new face and began writing. It started as his normal writing, but then got more aggressive as he continued. By the end, he was close to ripping the pages with how hard he was scribbling. He nodded in satisfaction after drawing a couple of clouds near the top of the page, probably so Karl would notice the page when he was flipping through.  
  


**_[It wrote:](https://twitter.com/cloudgnf/status/1361139747121483781?s=21) _ **

**_  
  
Note #223_ **

**_George says:_ **

**_DON’T BE AFRAID OF NEW PEOPLE!!!_ **

**_also, find Nick :)_ **

  
  


George handed the notebook back to Karl and the boy smiled softly.

“What would I do without you, George?” Karl asked, hugging his notebook close to his chest.

“I don’t know Karl, I really don’t.”

-

Karl didn’t want to go to school that next morning. He usually enjoyed school, but not when he’d rather be at the library searching for his mystery boy. 

Ever since his conversation with George, he had spent his doodling in his notebook about Nick. He had tried to remember every detail he could about him. Karl had gotten frustrated when he couldn’t remember every single detail about the brunette. It hurt his heart. Despite this, it was still detailed enough for Karl to remember most of him.

Yet a part of Karl’s head was telling him that he would never find him again. Nobody _ever_ went in the library apart from him and suddenly someone else had appeared. Maybe he had damaged his head harder than anyone thought.

“Found him yet?” George said as soon as Karl walked up to him in the school parking lot.

“You’d be the first to know if I did,” Karl chuckled. 

George frowned, “Don’t give up, he’ll turn up I’m sure.”

Karl smiled weakly and walked into the building with George by his side. Safe to say high school wasn’t as comforting as his local library. 

“Watch out, Jacobs!” He heard a voice yell and he immediately ducked, his reflexes from constantly being hit in the face with a football coming in handy.

The voice obviously belonged to Clay, the captain of the football team, who also happened to be the person George had a thing for. Karl would never understand why.

“Sorry, not my fault,” Clay said quickly, jogging over and picking up his football from beside where they stood. 

“Good aim,” George teased, grinning at the football player.

“Can it, Davidson,” Clay grinned, discreetly eyeing up the short brunette that stood beside Karl.

It was safe to say that Karl wished he had stayed home.

-

Karl spent most of his lunchtimes in the school library. The cafeteria was never really the place for him, plus George usually liked to sit with his friends from chess club and the other boy was nowhere near as smart as they were. So instead of sitting and eating his lunch awkwardly, he sat in the right-hand corner of the library and delved into the book he was reading. He never really ate much during lunch, instead he would just eat when he got home (mainly because he’d forget that he had to eat until he saw his lunchbox when he unpacked his bag at the end of the day).

Much like the library in town, the school library was usually empty apart from him and the librarian. Occasionally there would be some seniors studying for their finals near the end of the year, but other than that the room remained deserted.

Karl pulled out The Fault In Our Stars yet again, continuing from where he last left off. 

“You’re a slow reader,” A voice said softly, a smirk obviously present. Karl’s eyes snapped up.

There he was.

“Karl, right?” Nick said, grinning.

“Yeah, hello,” Karl smiled up at him, placing his book on his desk.

“Listen, I’m sorry fo-“ Karl began, but before he could finish, he was interrupted.

“Sapnap, come on!” 

Karl looked up to see the _entire_ football team staring them down outside the door of the library, including Clay. He bit his lip gently and avoided any possible eye-contact.

“Sorry, gotta go.. see you around Karl,” Nick, or Sapnap, smiled and jogged over to the football team that were obviously waiting for him to say hi and then leave. Karl could barely get a word in before they had disappeared.

He didn’t even have time to look at his forest eyes.


	2. what if it cost you, your heart and your last name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm erupts in Florida and Karl gets a text that sends him into a panic. He heads to the library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello hello! i’m back with another chapter!  
> it’s been a couple of days since the last one, hopefully i’ll work on getting these out quicker! thank you for all the support so far.

Lightning cracked the sky, a thin white line striking across the dark clouds. The thunder drummed loudly, making the usually calm town erupt with sound. Rain poured onto the empty 3am streets and wind whistled through the air.

Karl sat up in his bed, wrapping his arms around his thin frame. His body shook, both from his anxiety levels and the chilling wind that blew through his open window. The small boy stood up, reaching for his phone.  _ 3:15am. _ His eyes attempted to adjust to his phone screen. He noticed a green blur on his screen—a message notification. The name on the notification made his heart fall to his feet.

**_ALEX_ ** _ : Can we talk? I know it’s been awhile. I’m sorry. _

Karl shook his head softly, covering his mouth with his hands. He let his phone drop to the floor, that being the least of his worries. 

Before he could even acknowledge what he was doing, Karl was driving to his comfort place: the library.

The atmosphere was as expected, desolate. The evening librarian didn’t greet him when he entered, the poor old woman was probably wondering why they even bothered to stay open overnight. Karl clutched his worn jacket to his trembling body as he stumbled to his usual spot in the old building. He had forgotten his book in his quick departure from his house, however he didn’t mind as much—he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus on the words anyway.

He sat in his seat and pulled his legs to his chest, resting his head on his knees. His eyes squeezed closed as he tried to attempt to ground himself. A shaky sigh fell from his lips and he tugged at his hair, curling into more of a ball.

“Karl, is that you?” 

Karl cursed under his breath and looked up. There he was, appearing in front of him like he always did.

“You need to stop doing that,” Karl said quietly, his muscles relaxing.

“Doing what?” Nick questioned.

“Appearing out of nowhere.”

Karl stared at the ground, using his sleeve to wipe away a tear of frustration that decided to fall from his eye. 

“Are you okay?” Nick asked softly, taking a seat opposite Karl. The thunder boomed and the building shook slightly. Karl jumped and then pulled his knees closer to his chest. 

“Scared of the storm?” Nick asked. Karl shrugged, keeping his gaze firmly locked on the floor. Nick nodded, deciding not to continue the conversation.

The pair sat in silence, listening to the rain patter against the windows. It was a comfortable silence, yet Karl knew that it would have to be broken at some point.

“There was a lot I wanted to say to you the next time I saw you,” Karl began, looking up from the floor, “But.. this is just awful timing.” 

“Wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” Nick asked. 

Karl would be lying if he said his heart didn’t flutter. He didn’t know Nick at all, yet he was willing to listen to him. The signature smirk and cheeky look in his eye was gone, all that was left was concern and gentleness. There was no cocky tone to his voice, instead it was warm and inviting. 

“I wouldn’t want to bother you, it’s a lot. Plus, you don’t even know me.. why would you want my problems on your shoulders?” Karl replied, sinking into himself once again.

“I’m not one to believe in fate usually, but we keep meeting. Like, what are the odds that we’re both here right now?” Nick said, bringing his legs up to his chest to mirror Karl. 

“With all due respect, you sound insane,” Karl giggled, shaking his head softly.

“That was cute. Now stop insulting me and tell me what’s going on in that head of yours,” Nick grumbled, fake annoyance lingering on his tone.

With a deep breath, Karl told him everything.

  
  


_ The bright lights of the hospital ward burned Karl’s eyes. His body ached. He could feel a deep pain in his head, like it had disconnected from the rest of his body. _

_ “Karl,” A voice said woefully. _

_ A boy walked into the room. He had tanned skin, dark hair and dark eyes. A black t-shirt clung to his chest and black jeans sat on his legs.  _

_ His name itched at Karl’s head, but for some reason he couldn’t seem to grasp upon it. The thoughts in his head were clouded, almost like the fog that settled on a winter morning. It matched to his fingers that felt like frost and his lips that were a blue-purple colour. Karl felt frozen. _

_ “He’s not answering me, George,” The boy said as another figure entered after him. This boy was a lot paler, but had a similar hair colour. He was slightly taller, but he was wearing an oversized hoodie and his eyes seemed puffy and red. Karl’s head swirled. George, his best friend George. He knew him. _

_ “George,” Karl mumbled, his voice cracking due to his vocal cords not being used for a good amount of time. _

_ “Mornin’,” George replied, a soft smile falling over his lips, “Me and Alex wanted to visit you.” _

_ Alex, Alex, Alex. Karl searched his brain, nothing correlating to the name Alex. He frowned at George. _

_ “Who’s Alex?” _

_ - _

_ “Tell me, Alex,” The doctor began, “How long have you known Karl?” _

_ The tension was thick within the four walls of the hospital room. Alex sat in the corner of the room, curled up in the armchair that sat there. George leaned against the wall, refusing to make eye contact with anybody. Karl felt like he had done something wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on exactly what. _

_ “Like.. around a year now?” Alex replied. _

_ “This may be hard to take in, but,” The doctor said, “Due to Karl’s head injury, he isn’t going to remember recent things because parts of his long-term memory has been damaged. We can’t tell what he will and won’t be able to remember, but it’s likely that he remembers George because he’s been in his life for longer.” _

_ “So.. he doesn’t remember who I am?” Alex asked, looking up to meet the doctor’s eyes. _

_ “No, and there’s a possibility he never will. He can only be told.. but it’ll act like fiction in his head. Like a novel, almost.” _

_ - _

“And ever since then, he hasn’t talked to me. It’s been almost a year,” Karl explained, meeting Nick’s eyes, “But now he’s back.. and he wants to talk.”

“So.. you can’t remember anything about him?” Nick enquired, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Nothing from when it was just us two, I only know things that George has told me about the three of us. The rest is just.. empty,” Karl explains.

“I’m sorry, Karl,” Nick said.

“It’s okay, I’ll figure it out.. I always do..” Karl mumbled.

The aura around them was comforting. Karl felt frozen, but Nick’s presence was like a warm fluffy blanket. 

“So.. what are you doing in a library in the middle of the night?” Karl asked.

“Sometimes I just like to drive in the middle of the night.. and this place is somewhat comforting, even if it feels like it’ll collapse any minute,” Nick explained. 

“I’ve been coming here for years, how come I’ve never seen you?” 

“I’m new here. I moved here around a month ago so I could live with my friend, but he’s not really the adventurous type so I tend to go out alone.”

“You like adventuring?” Karl’s eyes lit up. 

Ever since he was a kid, Karl loved going to places that he’d never been to before. He used to beg his parents for days to let him ride his push bike to the next cities over so he could explore. Being the reasonable adults they were, they drove him instead. 

Now instead of begging his parents to let him go to the next city over, he would drive around his state until he had seen it all. Then we would wait to forget, then do the whole process over again.

“Yeah I do, I love driving and not knowing where I’m going, y’know?” Nick responded with a smile on his lips.

“I think we’re gonna be good friends, Nick,” Karl smiled.

And with that, they exchanged numbers.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was very dialogue heavy, but i wanted to delve into karl & alex so it was kinda needed :o i’m also working on making these chapters longer so i apologise for that!  
> hope you enjoyed! leave a comment and let me know what you thought!  
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/charnotfound)


	3. someday i won’t have to wait for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karl experiences a rollercoaster of emotions. Sapnap is clichè.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> geez.. it’s been awhile!  
> i apologise for that, i’ve had a lot going on in my life (both positive and negative) but hopefully i should be back. i can’t promise that updates will be frequent, but i promise i haven’t given up! thank you for all the support, i still read every comment :D  
> hope you all enjoy <33

The day after seemed like a fever dream.

It was a plain old Saturday. It was somewhat humid after the previous night’s storm and Karl was bored out of his mind. He stared at his phone that sat on his desk, waiting for it to light up with a text message. But it never did.

“Do you think he’ll call, George?” Karl asked, peering over at the smaller boy sitting on his bed.

“Of course,” George answered simply, more interested in Twitter than Karl’s problems.

“What if he gave me a fake number or something? What if he didn’t actually want my number? I did ask first after all. What if-“ 

“You know, for someone with a half working brain you do worry a lot,” George sighed, placing his phone down and staring up at the other boy.

“But George! What if-“

Ding.

They stared at eachother for a moment. Karl then leapt for his phone.

  
  


**UNKNOWN:** _ hi, is this karl? _

“It’s him! Oh my god, it’s not a fake number. He gave me his number, George!” Karl giggled, jumping up into the air and clutching his phone in his hands.

  
  


**KARL:** Yes, hello :D

**NICK SAPNAP:** hi! sorry for not texting sooner, my phone was playing up :P

**KARL:** That’s okay! Don’t worry about it haha

  
  


“This is the driest conversation I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing,” George said, peering over Karl’s shoulder.

“What am I supposed to say? ‘Please Nick, fall in love with me!’ No, of course not.”

“Pass it here,” George sighed, snatching Karl’s phone out of his hand before he could complain.

  
  


**KARL:** So.. what do you do for fun, pretty boy?

“George!”

**NICK:** uh.. nm lol

“Are you  _ sure _ he’s the one you want to go for?” George raised an eyebrow, letting Karl snatch his phone back.

“Yes, you’re just strange,” Karl sighed.

  
  


**KARL:** I’m so sorry

**KARL:** My best friend decided to take my phone

**NICK:** i could tell that wasn't u dw

**NICK:** anyways, was wondering if u wanted to go on a drive later ??

**NICK** : maybe 2 the next city over ??

**KARL:** I’d love that!

**KARL:** What time?

**NICK:** you’ll see. send address :)

  
  


-

That was both a blessing and a curse. Karl had immediately kicked George out of his house, much to his dismay. However, that meant he was sitting, waiting alone with no idea what time he was supposed to be getting picked up. 

By midnight, Karl thought he had been shown up. 

“I don’t know what I was expecting, George,” Karl said with a sigh, his phone pressed to his ear.

“I knew he wasn’t the one from his dry ass texts. This is why you listen to me.”

Karl rolled his eyes and shook his head. George was and always would be his best friend, but sometimes that little man got on his last nerve.

“He’s not even that bad. Plus, he’s nice to talk to.. he’s like a comfort blanket. Warm-“ 

“Are we forgetting he stood you up?” George replied, a bored tone prominent in his voice.

Karl sighed, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Get some sleep, Karl. You need it.”

George ended the call.

The silence was heavy on Karl’s shoulders. The itchy knitted sweater he was wearing clung to his chest and he felt as if he was being trapped. He felt abandoned again. Nick knew about Alex yet he still left Karl hoping he would turn up. It wouldn’t be a big deal to most, but tears still fell down the boy’s rosy cheeks. He didn’t know what to do.

  
  


**KARL:** I’m sorry if I did something

**KARL:** Maybe you had second thoughts, that’s okay

**KARL:** It’s my fault, I know. I’m sorry.

He didn’t get a response.

-

Karl woke up to a tapping noise echoing his bedroom. His vision was blurred for a moment, but eventually he could see the time that was displayed on his digital clock: 3:35AM. He sighed, wrapping himself tighter in his blanket, assuming it was just a tree hitting his window or something.

But the tapping continued.

Karl tugged at his hair and sat up, sleepily wandering over to his window to see what was hitting it. He stood there for a moment, looking at the trees around his house. It was windy, sure, but none of them were even close to hitting his window. He opened it up slightly, but before he could open it up all the way, a small pebble landed on his windowsill.

Karl looked down. He watched as the boy he’d been crying over looked for little pebbles in the grass to throw at his window. He shook his head in disbelief and closed his window. He slid a jacket over his shoulders and slipped his battered vans over his feet before running downstairs and out of his front door.

“Nick?” Karl asked, rubbing his eyes softly.

“Hey! I was about to give up,” Nick said sheepishly, turning around and dropping the remainder of his pebbles onto the ground.

-

“Don’t people only throw rocks at people’s windows in movies?” Karl asked, curled up on Sapnap’s passenger seat.

“Wouldn’t you want to live in a movie?” Nick replied, his hands resting carelessly on his steering wheel.

Karl decided not to reply to that.

Wind blew through Karl’s hair as they sped through the narrow streets of their town. It was desolate, but still somewhat comforting. The bright street lights lit up the roads despite there being no cars on the road. No cars except Sapnap’s, of course.

“I honestly thought you had stood me up,” Karl laughed softly, “Why didn’t you text me back?”

“I broke my phone,” Nick said as if it was the most normal and obvious thing in the world.

“Why?”

“Phones freak me out. If I have one, that means I’m obligated to do certain things. If I don’t, then I don’t have to. It’s more freeing. Plus, I never used the damn thing anyway,” He explained, stopping at a red light, “I don’t like things holding me back and controlling me, if you can’t tell.”

“Is that why you’re always out at three in the morning?” Karl giggled.

“Not always, sometimes it’s two in the morning.”

-

After a while of driving and talking, Nick started driving through some sort of woodland. There was an obvious path, but the trees around it made it seem a lot less safe than it actually was. It was a scene from a horror film.

“Are you sure this is safe?” Karl asked, looking out of the window, “I’m scared someone is going to jump out of the bushes or something.”

“Don’t worry, I used to drive up here all the time before I moved here. I’m just glad I’m closer now,” Nick said, parking the car, “Come on, we have to walk the rest of the way.”

The pair got out of the car and Karl looked around. The forest looked mystical. The trees were interwoven with eachother, there were colourful plants growing and Karl was certain he could see animals sleeping amongst the branches. It was beautiful, but the darkness made it feel like a murder scene.

“It’s not too far, come on. I’ll hold your hand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed! not much went on but it was a filler chapter and i needed to get something out because it was bothering me HAHAHHA
> 
> find me on my [main twitter](https://twitter.com/sapnaplftv) and my [writing twitter](https://twitter.com/cloudgnf) !

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed! i respond to every comment i get :D  
> have a great day!
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/charnotfound)


End file.
